Don't "Freak" So Fast, Your Souls Are Tied

A guy and a girl see each other across the room during dinner at Grand Lux Cafe, at happy hour at The Drake or during a concert at The Warehouse. They respectively think, "She's cute," and "He's fine."

They play that game and peep each other throughout the evening, checking to see who arrived solo and who came with company. So, the coast is clear because he's rollin' wit da homies and she's with her crew.

Already knowing they're gonna have sex within the next three days, they approach each other and play that other game: who's gonna surrender the digits tonight and who's going to play the fool and wait for that damned phone call! But whatever, it's part of the dance.

Eventually, phone calls are made, text messages and photos are sent, innuendo is flying through the phone lines like crazy and they decide to go out. (Honestly, I don't know why when they both know the goal is to get laid. But whatever, I'm making a point here.)

They have sex and think it's "the bomb." Soon enough, our couple continues to have sex whenever and wherever possible. His place, her place, hell...someplace!

Time rolls on and they make a  decision to date and be together. After all, he doesn't want her sharing her goodies with any other man and she'll scratch out the eyes of any woman trying to get up on what she's got!

But soon they discover they sort of get on each other's damned nerves.

He farts like she's not sitting RIGHT NEXT TO HIM. She takes all her phone calls in the other room and returns texts when she thinks he's not looking. His multiple children's multiple mothers start revealing how crazy they can be. And her children's fathers are getting irate because they "don't know who this fool is!" She's not looking sexy like she used to because she pulled out those tube socks she likes to wear when she's watching television. And he's falling asleep in the bed so fast, she can't get any of that so-called good lovin' that brought them together in the first place. He's with his friends playing too much XBox and she's always asking for money to get her hair and nails done.

The list continues to get nasty, and the sex really isn't as great as they had "selectively remembered." They each start consulting with the peanut gallery for advice and to just basically vent their frustrations. But one thing's clear -- this thing has got to come to an end.

And so it does.

But of course it came to an end. The whole thing was out of bounds, out of line and out of order! Is it any wonder that this so-called relationship fell apart so quickly? Allow me to put a neat little bow on the long, drawn out story above:

• They saw each other.
• They slept with each other.
• They got to know each other.
• They didn't like each other.
• They got the hell away from each other. 

This, my friends, is what you call "ass backwards." And for women, this hurts more than anything because oftentimes we feel as if we've been taken advantage of. But keep in mind, with the average guy, they cannot have what we don't willingly give them.

At the heart of the matter, though, is your soul. Yes, I'm going "there."

I learned many years ago about something called a soul tie. In a nutshell, it's the spiritual principle that when two people engage in sex -- in essence joining their bodies -- they also join their souls. And a soul tie isn't broken just because the connection has been broken.

With this in mind, is it truly a wonder why us ladies have such a hard time letting go of a person after a one-night stand? Fellas, is it really baffling that the girl you meant to have a fling with got under your skin and had you whipped? Considering you tied your soul to someone in just one night -- and for some, in less than 20 minutes -- do you now see why you can go crazy when you don't get that call in the next couple of day?

Please understand, there ARE other kinds of soul ties. Parents and children. Husbands and wives. Brothers and sisters.

We are tied to one another spiritually through our physical bonds. But we've got to learn to be a little more careful when it comes to making new bonds with people we don't care about. And this is precisely why I say that our couple moved through their so-called relationship backwards. They tied their souls to one another without even know if they wanted to have that kind of connection.

Next time you find yourself two seconds from whipping out the condom because you THINK you like him or her, look at that person and silently ask yourself this:

"Do I really want my SOUL tied to YOU?"

Content copyright 2010. Relationship Revelations, LLC. All rights reserved.