Tuesday, February 14, 2012

A Valentine's Day Wish


If you're by yourself today
don't worry about being with no one.
Instead, celebrate the fact 
that you're not with the WRONG ONE!!! 


HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!












Content copyright 2012. Relationship Revelations, LLC. 
All rights reserved.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

A DOG Will Do What a Real MAN Won't

Ladies, this one is really simple and plain: A DOG will do what a MAN won't do. That's what makes his doggish ass so appealing.

Still confused? Consider this:

-- A dog will manage to call you all the time - day or night - and talk for hours (because he's keeping tabs on you).
-- A man is too busy working and tending to his responsibilities to stay on the phone with you.

-- A dog will inquire about all your friends all the time (because he's keeping tabs on you).
-- A real man will keep up with your closest buddies and doesn't have time to remember the rest.

-- A dog won't tell you where he's going or what he's doing, but will always ask this information of you (because he's keeping tabs on you).
-- A real man is more concerned that you're safe than with the coordinates of your exact latitude and longitude.

In case you didn't pick up on the pattern, a gullible woman can assume that dog is into her and her friends and her activities. Sugar, he's keeping tabs on you so he can move around town with his other women and avoid running into your naive ass on the street!

In short, don't justify being with a dog of a man because, "at least he calls me and takes an interest in my friends and what I'm doing."

A wiser choice is to understand where a real man is coming from...it can't always be about YOU.

Content copyright 2012. Relationship Revelations, LLC. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Is It Your Man-Hating Momma's Fault You're Single?

I was talking to my man the other day about bitter bitches. 


Yeah, I know that's harsh but that's what we were talking about. To be honest, we were talking about one bitter bitch in particular. And then we kind of veered off into a general discussion about why Generation X's is so full of single Black women!


We weren't talking about your average single-and-never-been-married women. We were talking about all kinds of single women -- divorced women, engaged-and-broke-it-off women, proposed-to-but-never-accepted-the-proposal women, blah, blah, blah. 


To narrow down that field of women a little bit more, we were talking about bitter Black women. And don't start tripping if you're Anglo, Latina, Asian or Native American and feel excluded. This blog post isn't about you or your experiences. I'm a Black woman and I'm writing about Black women and why I feel many of us are single.

Now, as my man sees it, these women are the products of bitter mothers who somehow passed their nasty attitudes towards men down the genetic line. In other words, momma was a man-hater and she raised her daughter to be a man-hater, too. 


According to my baby, these women were either left to raise a baby with no help from baby-daddy. Or poppa was a rolling stone -- a lady-loving galavanting gigolo -- and cheated on momma regularly.  The bottom line was that mom didn't trust men and raised her daughter to not trust them either. 


And the rhetoric is familiar: 
-- Girl, you don't need no man! 
-- You can do whatever you want without a man's help!
-- Don't depend on a man to get what you want!
-- Learn to take care of yourself!
-- You keep your money to yourself!


As I listened to my guy, my thoughts drifted back to my own situation. I'm 40; I've never been married and I have no children. Yet, my mother was happily married until my father passed away. So, how is it that I ended up in the same sinking boat with my counterparts who have man-hating mommas??? 


Well, in a strange sort of way, my mother told me the same things the bitter moms were saying, just in a different way: 
-- Focus on your education.
-- Have a successful career.
-- Make your own money.
-- Don't depend on anyone for your success/happiness.
-- Take advantage of opportunities and make your own way.


Oddly, the message from my mother and the messages of those other moms are remarkably similar in nature. Both sets of messages are underscored by a push to be independent, self-sufficient, educated and prosperous. 


Then I had a real life revelation about why mothers like mine focused on education and career and spent very little time teaching me about how to get and keep a man. My parents -- some of your parents, too -- lived during a time when segregation was coming to an end and opportunities were just beginning to open up for Black people. So, instead of preaching tradition and focusing on sharpening my domestic skills like cooking, cleaning, child-rearing and managing a household, my momma told me to go out there and get it! 


Our grandparents found the door of opportunity. Our parents managed to turn the door knob. But Generation X was poised to kick that damn door all the way open and snatch every opportunity that lay on the other side. 


And my momma was right! We have a Black president! And in a funky lil' twist of fate, so were the man-hating mommas. Lol!


It's taken me a long time to figure this dating thing out and I don't blame my momma one single solitary bit for molding me into the self-sufficient and resilient woman that I am today. I like who I am and what I can do for myself. I like being able to handle my own life and make good decisions. 


But today I know that while I'm self-sufficient, I've got to learn to let a man help me sometimes. You know, let a brotha open a door and check out my car when the "CHECK ENGINE" light comes on. And while I know how to twist my neck and start and finish ANY argument, I realize that in a relationship it's healthier to embrace our differences and simply agree to disagree. 


To all my Gen X ladies if you want someone in your life, then you've got to open your life up to someone. You can be as independent as progressive mommas like mine wanted you to be and you can be as I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T as your man-hating momma raised you to be. Or you can stop viewing men as the obstacle/enemy, open up your mind and your life and move forward...into a great future with a great relationship. 


That door of opportunity is still W-I-D-E open!


Content copyright 2012. Relationship Revelations, LLC. All rights reserved.

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