Don't Ask a Fat Woman If She's Pregnant

Kiss my grits!!!

Turning 40 is a bitch! Especially if you're a single woman who isn't married, doesn't have children and you're the only one in your family like that. Let me tell you, it can be a tough time. Family and friends are giving you the side-eye wondering, "What is wrong with her?" and "What's she waiting for?"

I was talking to a girlfriend this evening who's going through a roller coaster of emotions because she's not satisfied with where her life is as she crosses this milestone. Like so many of my friends in the same boat, she's quick to say, "This isn't where I thought I would be at this age." Heck, I even said the same thing to myself. And she's not unjustified in thinking that...40 creeps up on ya FAST!

Then I stopped her dead in her tracks to remind her that her circumstance isn't entirely her fault. There's an entire rundown of factors that don't have anything to do with her that are also contributing to her current state of affairs. Here's a few:

1) She's meeting men who are trying to live out their P. Diddy dreams and run through women like a rapper runs through video hoes.

2) She's meeting men who are divorced and their respective ex-wives have drained them financially and mentally and they're too scared (or bitter) to try again.

3) She's competing with the shameful abundance of women who will give up the coochie in exchange for a paid light bill or cell phone bill or even a lobster dinner.

4) The pool of men is reduced by wannabe George Clooney's (i.e. confirmed bachelors) and the growing numbers of homosexual men. (NOTE: This is not a slight about being homosexual. It's simply a notation that it's a contributing factor to the shrinking pool of men available for women.)

The sad part was that I heard myself reassure her that membership in THIS club is growing, honey.  I wish it wasn't.

But then my brain kicked in and I shared with her some of the things I came to realize as I approached and passed the 40-year milestone. For example, if you give too much credence to what other people might be saying about you or what they must be thinking about you, you will drive yourself insane! So, don't worry about it.

One of my favorite responses to people who ask me, "Mish, what are you waiting for?" is to respond, "Why are you rushing me into marriage when (in Texas) 50% of married people are RUSHING TO GET OUT?!?!?"

Duh!

Some of those ignorant ass questions that people ask us singles, to me, are like asking a fat woman when she's expecting to give birth. Don't ask that shit. Leave it alone. Lol!

So, to my friend I would encourage you to enjoy turning 40 years old and have an absolute blast!! It's a wonderful time. You're smarter. You're wiser. You've established yourself as a woman and you've established your career. Keep in mind there are women out there who wish they were in YOUR shoes. So, don't worry about the shoes you think you're supposed to be wearing and enjoy wearing the stilettos you're in.