Ladies, have you ever been talking to a man while out on a date with him, but instead of him looking directly at you his eyes are darting around the room like he's expecting a stampede of water buffalo at any moment?
I have and it used to drive me insane!
And to make it worse, when you try to glance over you're shoulder to see if a masked gunman is behind you about to burst through the restaurant's glass double doors, he insists, "I'm listening."
I'm telling you, that kind of behavior used to drive me batty! Thinking back to a date I was on some 13 years ago with a guy named Eric, I remember I'd get the occasional direct eye contact from him and he'd engage me for a few moments. We'd have a nice verbal volley going on -- I'd say something and he'd answer back, and so on. But as sure as the sun will rise, he'd begin glancing around the room again looking at who-knows-what. Our waiter with the food? Another woman?? The bathroom??? In my mind, I was screaming, "Am I that boring?!?"
Then I just straight up asked my date, "Am I boring you?" He replied, "No. I've heard everything you've said."
And sure enough, he did! With the greatest of ease, he rattled off a summary of our entire discourse in the space of about 3 minutes. Turn-for-turn, subject-for-subject he recalled everything we had prattled on about. That's one sure way to shut me up -- prove me wrong!
After I picked my face up off the floor, he explained to me that as the proverbial hunters, men have a tendency to always be surveying their territory and scanning the landscape. Take the "hunter" out of the historical cave and put him in a modern-day restaurant and that means he's watching the exits, observing the other diners and paying attention to what's happening in the room. And he's doing all this while listening to me. In fact, for many men, looking at a woman they find attractive can be quite distracting.
Ladies, don't take it personally if a man isn't looking directly at you while holding a conversation with you. If you follow his gaze and you can clearly see he's not following a pair of double-d's across the room, then you're good!
Today, I admire a man who can hold a conversation with me and actually look at me, but it's certainly not a requirement. Besides, I'd rather he be able to tell me if those water buffalo are about the storm the room!
