But y'all know I don't write these columns to wax poetic about my fabulous life. Truthfully, there's one thing that's bothering the crap out of me about my birthday.
Since when did celebrating another year of blessed life on this great earth mean I had to throw a friggin' party???
I mean, really?
Somewhere along the way, we got it into our heads that if we didn't "do it up right" among a crowd of 300 people -- all of whom would be eating up our food, drankin' down our liquor, smokin' up da joint and messing up carpets and walls and thangs! Okay, so not every party goes like that. Some people have some very "sophisterated" affairs with a classy crowd of friends who know how to respect the upholstery.
Either way, why is a party necessary at all? Do I need to huddle in a dark club, yell over the music, choke on the smoke, stare down chicks mean muggin' me because I accidentally bumped into them just to celebrate my birth? Do I need to open up my home to people and spend the night worrying what stain will magically appear on my carpet two weeks later because no one had the guts to tell me they'd dropped something? (And y'all KNOW it happens this way!!)
My relationships with my friends didn't begin this way, and they won't be maintained this way. For my birthday this year, I have had friends take me to lunch, cook dinner, bake cookies, barbecue chicken, spend time with me and deliver flowers at work. We've talked and laughed and joked and had a good time looking back on our respective friendships and relationships.
I can't do any of that at a massive party or even a mid-sized one. I can't get it in like that at the club.
So, where does it come from...this need to have a birthday BASH rather than celebrating birthdays intimately? After all, I came into the world intimately on my original day of birth. It was just me and mom and pop and a doctor and a couple of nurses. Everyone was NOT in that delivery room hunched down around my momma's privates waiting to blow horns and toss up confetti once I popped out!
The way I see it, all this birthday bash fever comes from a society obsessed with excess.
It's become about showing off how much we have. And it doesn't matter what we're showing off...as long as EVERYONE in the room understands that ours is bigger and better and newer than anyone else's. So, we have to have bigger parties, with more guests on the list with bigger price tags.
And to further add to the foolishness, we're not ashamed to tell you how much this excess costs. I grew up in a time of discretion. You didn't flaunt money like that. You didn't tell people what you spent on something. But when you've got 16-year-old boys having birthday bashes valued at more than $1 million, I can see how some people would want to...well...appear to keep up with the Joneses! (Super-producer L.A. Reid's son Aaron had the most expensive super sweet 16 on record at Mtv. Daddy Reid ran up a tab of $1.4 million. And $1 million of that was just for having Kanye come perform!)
I guess all I'm saying is this...I value the relationships I have with the people I truly call friends. And while parties are fantastic, I don't need one to be reminded that people love me despite all my uptight, quirky Virgo ways.
Retired major league pitcher Vernon Law is quoted as saying: "Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward." And the lesson that I've learned is that every day God lets me live is another opportunity to celebrate and try to get it right.
Love life everyone!
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