If You're Full of Shit, You Can't Expect Perfection

Maybe it was the martinis that got us going. But whatever it was, something loosened my girlfriend's lips and caused her to wax poetic rattling off a list of things she wanted in her perfect man. It was a nice list full of the usual attributes: kind, generous, God-fearing, gainfully employed, fit, not a mama's boy, well-groomed smart, loves kids, blah, blah, blah.

But then a devilish thought crossed my mind: "I bet if he knew the list of what you were REALLY like, he wouldn't touch you with a 10-foot pole!"

In other words, while she was talking about all the stuff she HOPES to get in a man, I was running down a mental list of the shit he would be getting if he chose to be with my friend. Yikes! It would go a little something like this:

Needy
Insecure
Jealous

Borrows money constantly

Criticizes 

Criminal history (shoplifted in her 20s)

Requires constant reassurance

Always depressed

Always the victim

Job-hopper (No career aspirations)

Keeps a filthy home

Would rather watch TV (than do anything!)

Well, you get the point. 

I mean, it crossed my mind that while she's busy creating her demanding list of stuff she wants in a guy, what if that same guy found out about her real life list? Ya know, that list of who she really is.

Look at it this way: If that man made a list of his perfect woman's attributes and put it next to the real list of who she is, I'd bet he'd go screaming for the hills. That man, my friends, would be "OUTTA THERE!"

So, I said all that to say this to both WOMEN and MEN: Stop it with the lists. Let the lists go. Because unless you're ready to get real about what's on YOUR list, then you can't go around making demands about what should be on someone else's!

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